Fat.

First thing's first:
Consumed:
rice- 100
oatmeal- 130
4 kellog's mini wheats- 34
gum- 5
Total: 269
Again, I feel like i ate a whole bunch of food even though I know I didn't. It's officially been a week since I started losing weight again, and I've only binged once. It's been four days since I last binged, and I don't feel one coming on any time soon. I just looked online and found out that my multivitamin boots metabolism and converts more stored fat into energy. This makes me very happy. :) I felt like I was featter than ever at school today. i can't wait until I'm actually thin. Earlier, I though to myself, is this really worth it? I answered yes. Or maybe my ED answered yes. I want to live a longgg life and have kids and get married. I just feel like... for that to be possible, I have to be thin. Does that make sense?

In my house, there is nothing to eat. At least, nothing I'm willing to eat. We have spaghetti, lots of white rice, lots of frozen dinners, pot pies, ice cream, steaks, chicken, ribs, french fries, cream cheese, sandwich meat, chips, cookies, pop, ect. HOWEVER, we have NO water, NO unrotten fruit, NO uncanned vegetables (i'm not allowed to open canned vegetables because my step mom uses them for dinner. THEN, if we don't eat all of the veggies during dinner she throws them out. ) um, wow I just realized that I'm not going to be able to weigh myself over break. my mom doesn't have a scale... UNLESS, I can get her to buy me one? I'd seriously love her forever. I doubt I'll be able to get one, though because she'll be asking me all about it and shit. God. If this weightloss keeps up, I'll be 129 by this time next week. I feel like this was too easy? Like... I will have lost twenty pounds in less a month... It's kind of scary. I don't know. Not to say that I'm not glad about it. i'd be happier if I could get some 2 lbs a day weight loss of solid fat. I'm pretty sure that I'm just starting to lose my fat weight. i think before it was just water weight. My goal is to just... do this. I don't know. i just want to be 110. If this keeps up for that long then... I'll be 110 by janurary 10. I really dont think I'm going to last that long. My prediction? I'll binge on chirstmas eve, i'll binge on chirstmas day, I'll binge on new years, and I'll binge every day that I'm in Chicago. THANKFULLY, me and my mom are going grocery shopping when she picks me up. CAN I GET AN AMEN?! I'll tell her to get lots of green giant bags and a lot of blueberries and apples. If she can afford that, I'll be home free. :)