... It shrunk?

For some reason, I can't even finish a bowl of oatmeal. I just... can't. It's times like this that really scare me. not being hungry at all scares me more than binging. Because its somewhat normal for your body to want to binge when you're depriving yourself of food. But when you've eaten less than 2000 calories in the last six days and you have to force yourself to eat? That's just... I don't know. I'm terrified of how messed up i'm getting. But i won't stop. I can't. I was trying to convince myself last night that no one is going to like me when i'm thin, either. My ED won the fight, though. It said, "You know that's not true. You know that once you're thin everyone will like you. You can't get a guy with huge thighs. No one will want to touch you." I've established that I'm never going to be able to have sex because I think i look too disgusting to ever be naked in front of someone. Hell, I don't look at myself naked. I make sure that I'm away from a mirror when I get in the shower. Anyway, i guess I'm going to give up on eating for now. I'll try again later.